Obsession too far
by Doomed Desires
Summary: It seemed like a good idea. They'd both been invited to the house of a rich, but retarded fangirl and then steal what they could, then bail. Too bad they didn't count on her being an obsessive stalker with intentions of NEVER letting them leave.


**Just a random story that came to mind. Involves Shifty, Lifty...and a retarded fangirl who's obsessed with the two of them...IN A REALLY WRONG WAY. But there's more ways than one.**

**You'll see what I mean at one point during the story. Includes suggestive themes, some language.**

**So yes, here we gooo!**

**By the way, everyone's humanized. Don't like? **

**/ Sunglasses**

**DEAL WITH IT.**

* * *

><p>Shifty was splayed out on the couch inside the apartment and was flipping through channels, not really paying any attention to the television. His fendora was pulled over his eyes and a plie of smashed soda cans were on the carpet. Those were Lifty's, he'd stashed them there because he was too lazy to throw them away.<p>

Lifty had said he was going to get the mail earlier, make that five minutes earlier. And he wasn't back yet. He wished he'd hurry up and get back so they could go steal stuff again or look for girls.

"Oh come on, it doesn't take that long to go pick up the mail. It doesn't take twenty minutes."

The freaking mailbox was right outside the apartment building.

All he had to do was walk down and-

"Oh God...am I seriously thinking about this?" Shifty sighed and then stared dully at the ceiling, his brown eyes focused on that one small crack in the corner.

God, he was bored.

Not to mention uncomfotable.

And bored. With one single motion, he snapped off the TV and grabbed a opened bag of popcorn off of the coffee table.

Maybe he'd just shut his eyes for a minute and then eat some pop-

"Shifty! Look whst came in the mail!"

The bag of popcorn was thrown into the air, corn kernels flying everywhere as the startled man bolted off the couch, brushing remaiedents of popcorn off his chest.

He turned and looked at his younger brother who was grinning from ear to ear and an all too famillar gleam had appeared in his eyes. That look meant that there was money involved or something of value that they could take.

Back when they'd first starting out stealing, Lifty had tried and failed to follow in his older brother's footsteps, such as coming up with where and what they should steal. And Shifty had let him for a while- until they were in a tough situation and Lifty had nearly cost them their lives many times.

But after years and years of being the boss, Shifty had decided to give him a second chance again and latey and the duo had managed to aquire some house hold items such as the fridge, TV set, two beds, and a radio.

Not to mention the useless junk they aquired, but they were kelptomaniacs. That's what they did.

Shifty returned the smirk and sat down on the couch looking at the letter's adress. All it said on it was Raccoon bros.

"Know who sent it?"

"Nope."

He shrugged then tore open the envelope as Lifty sat down next to him.

"Read it!"

He unfolded the letter and began to read. It was typed and he wanted to smash his head against the wall as soon as he read the first part.

_Dear Raccoon Twinz,_

"Oh, God. What the hell?" Shifty looked the Z. "This is from a girl, isn't it? No guy in their right mind would write this."

Lifty's smirk faded and he facepalmed, groaning. "Bet it's from one of of those stupid fangirls..."

_I have heard so much about u! I rlly luv u guys! Like ttly!_

"Yes, one that apparently can't type normally...retarded bitch..."

_I want to invite you guyz over to my house so I can meet u both! I will send a car down for u tommrow morning. I can't wait to see u both!_

_333333333 Chelsa_

"This has gotta be a joke." Shifty glanced at Lifty and laid back on the couch. "I mean...sh-"

"Wait, bro! I have a plan!" Lifty exclaimed and he leapt up."Okay, she said she'll sent a car down to us!"

"Yeah, and?"

"Sending a car usually means a limo. And limos mean fancy smancy places!" He flailed his hands around and Shifty slowly realized what he was getting at.

"And then when we get there, we steal some shit and then get the fuck out of there!" He finished Lifty's sentence and he grinned. "Yes! We'll worry about how to steal once we're there."

"Brother dearest, you are a genius!"

"Why thank you. I'm gonna go pack!" And with that Lifty ran off. Shifty got up a few minutes later to take a shower.

Yes, they'd steal as much as they could, then leave.

Sounds simple, right?

**Hehehehe, review.**


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